Dr. Cindy Zurchin
Advocating for yourself with courage
As educators, we have spent our days advocating for children. We ask questions. We push for support for our students and our schools. We sit in difficult meetings. We speak up when something does not sound right.
Yet when it comes to our own health, many of us suddenly become quiet. Overwhelmed. Unsure what to ask. Afraid of what we might hear.
I can say from experience — not only as an educator and school leader, but as someone who sat in a doctor’s office hearing the words: “You have cancer.”
It is a life-changing moment.
During an ordinary eye exam, the doctor said, “I think you have a tumor in your eye.” I knew immediately that did not sound good. The doctor continued by telling me eye tumors are very rare, and he wanted me to see a specialist. I asked if he thought it could be cancer and he replied, “Yes.”
That was a lot to process and caught me completely off guard. I was in shock, feeling paralyzed, trying to wrap my mind around what I had just been told. I called my husband and told him what the doctor said. I kept replaying the words in my head: Did I hear this correctly? Did I miss something?
As I was processing this, my husband said, “I’ll come and get you.” I said, determined to keep myself together, “No, I can still see to drive home.”
I spent the afternoon at my elementary school caring for students, making decisions and helping them solve their problems. Now, my mind raced and I felt uncertain about facing my own problems.
As I prepared to meet with the specialist, I realized everything I learned as an educator applied here, too. I needed a plan with clear objectives and strategies.
Here are five strategies to help you approach your medical appointments with greater confidence and clarity.
Be Prepared | Bring Questions and Log the Answers
Just as we tell our students to come prepared for class, we need to hold ourselves to the same standard at the doctor’s office. When emotions run high, it is easy to forget what you wanted to ask. Before appointments, take a few minutes to write down your questions; and there is no such thing as a bad question when it comes to your health.
After the appointment, review the answers and keep an ongoing record of all information, including your test results. Make sure you understand what each result means before leaving or follow up. MyChart is a valuable tool for reviewing information and sending follow-up questions directly to your medical team.
Helpful starters. A few questions to ask when you visit the doctor:
- What are my treatment options — and what are the pros and cons of each?
- What alternative treatments are available?
- Will you support a referral for a second opinion?
- What does this diagnosis mean for my daily life?
- What should I expect next?
- Can you suggest research articles to help me learn more about my diagnosis?
Build a Support Team | Let Them Lead When You Can’t
Bring a support person to your important medical appointments. Just as we rely on partner teachers and colleagues in the classroom, it is important to have someone by your side.
Ask them to listen closely, step in with questions if you freeze, and remain steady — especially when difficult information may be shared. Two sets of ears are always better than one.
A family member or friend can:
- Listen carefully
- Take notes
- Ask questions you may not recall in the moment
- Provide emotional support
You have spent a lifetime speaking up for others. Now it is your turn. Your voice matters — in the classroom, in leadership and in the doctor’s office.
— Dr. Cindy Zurchin
When the specialist said the word cancer, I fell forward in my chair. The tears came before I could stop them. My thoughts went to my two little boys at home, completely unaware of what was happening. I did not even remember the doctor talking about surgery the next day. My husband, John, had to take the lead — asking our list of questions and getting the answers we needed.
Regulate Fear in the Moment
Being scared is natural. During your appointments, you want to be able to focus, understand what is happening and make decisions.
As educators, we ask our students if they have any questions. Now, it is your turn to be the one asking. It is okay to say, “Can you explain that again?” or “I need a moment to process.”
During my first meeting with the ocular oncologist, she believed my eye cancer had been caught early.
“I think we can save your life,” she said.
When I heard those words, I turned to my husband and said, “Write that down” — as if I had just been given a moneyback guarantee. I needed to hold on to those words, something to replay in my mind every time fear tried to take over.
Simple techniques to help regulate emotions
- Take slow, deep breaths before speaking
- Pause before responding
- Ask for clarification if something feels overwhelming
Own Your Narrative | You Are the Leader of Your Life
You are not just a patient. You are an active participant in your care. For years, when people would ask what I did for a living, I said, “I’m just a teacher.” I had to remind myself to stop saying “just.” Stop thinking of yourself as “just a patient.” You are the person in charge of your life.
Your experience, your body and your life matter in every health care conversation. A fellow cancer patient once told me they had been waiting more than three months for the doctor to call with test results. They thought that because they hadn’t received a call, it must have been all good. I politely reminded them they were in charge of their own health care and encouraged them to follow up with the doctor’s office to confirm the results.
Educators are some of the strongest advocates I know. The same courage you bring to supporting students should be used to support yourself. Advocating for your health is leadership. You need to care for yourself so you can continue showing up for those who love and need you.
Be your own advocate
- Share concerns with the appropriate professionals
- Speak up if something does not feel right
- Ask for explanations in everyday language
- Be actively involved in decisions about your treatment
Express Gratitude
The demands on health care staff continue to grow and teams are being stretched in many directions. After each appointment, take a moment to thank the staff for their help and support.
Consider following up with a note or a review to express your appreciation. Imagine how meaningful it would be for your doctor to receive a handwritten note acknowledging their great care — thanking them not just for their medical expertise, but for their presence, their listening, or simply for showing up during a demanding day.
Some might say, “Well, that’s their job.”
Gratitude is not, however, about what is expected. It is about choosing to recognize the human effort behind the task.
A Final Thought
None of us plan for health challenges. When they arrive, we have a choice in how we respond.
After my diagnosis, I assembled my team. I sought a second opinion. I did my research. I held onto the words — “I think we can save your life” — replaying them every time fear came knocking.
The outcome was not guaranteed. The decision to advocate for myself — to lead myself through one of the hardest seasons of my life — made all the difference.
You have spent a lifetime speaking up for others. Now it is your turn. Your voice matters — in the classroom, in leadership and in the doctor’s office.
You are made of more than your diagnosis. More than your fear. More than this moment.
Cindy Zurchin is a resilience and leadership expert, keynote speaker and educator with decades of experience leading in education, health care, business and higher education. For more information, visit drcindyzurchin.com.